Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Source of My Biggest Anxiety

I'm a mom. So it's normal to be stressed over certain things in life when it comes to your kids. Whether it be their homework, teachers, friends, clothing, are they getting enough nutrients, etc there is ALWAYS something to worry about. For me it's on another level...

My kids have food allergies. Before you stop reading or roll your eyes at the thought of restricting your child's diet for yet another helicopter mom let me help you out...just imagine this happening to your child, nephew, niece, Godchild, etc...

My 4 year old son is at grandma's house happily playing with his brother. My boys are rough! They love hard, play hard & fight hard. One brother pushed my 4 year old into an iron by mistake. As is customary in Dominican culture, grandma puts egg white on his burn to help it heal.

Shortly thereafter, Elijah turned bright red, spots everywhere and starts to scream, then gets kind of weak & sleepy. SIDEBAR - I am not there, this is what my mom tells me as she calls me to ask if she should give him more Benadryl. I am not worried. Elijah gets weak-ish and vomits when he comes into contact with nuts, tree-nuts & dairy. We know that, I have been there for these kinds of accidental exposures before. We give him Benadryl, give him a few minutes to feel better and he can tell me Mommy I feel better, usually after throwing up.

Well anyway, she says he is not feeling better but didn't throw up either. So I FaceTime her. Elijah is passed out. I call his name, he doesn't respond. Ok, now I am freaking out. It's never happened this way. I am not there to help, so I am freaking out, but trying to keep it together so my mom won't freak out. I ask her to get his EpiPen. She is freaking out. So I tell my 6 year old Aidan to go get the green EpiPen from the book bag & give it to Mama. He complies and quickly gets it. I thank him & smile so he doesn't freak out. I try to walk my mom through injecting him with the EpiPen but in my haste I forget to tell her to remove the blue cap. She can't figure it out, she is panicking, and doesn't know what to do. I tell her to call 911. Everyone including my grandma, my mom, Joshua my 2 year old and Aidan are all freaking out now, crying, praying, screaming.

I hear my mom calling 911 while my grandma holds my child's body in her arms and I call out his name. Still no response, ladies & gentleman, he had a full blown anaphylactic reaction. My child is purple. My baby will not respond to anything.

The police officers arrive first. They are unsure of where to inject the EpiPen. I am still on FaceTime watching them semi-panic, semi-talk themselves through the directions. I am trying to talk to them as well but with all the noise in the background, they can barely hear my instructions.

They are able to administer the EpiPen and I hear my son Elijah cry. The ambulance comes in and stabilizes him. They talk to me on FaceTime and let me know he is breathing well again and his vitals are getting back to normal but he has to go to the local Children's hospital for further observation. By this time, my husband and I are in the car racing down the NJ Turnpike on our way to my mom's house in Philly. This is usually a 2 hour drive, we made it to the hospital in an hour.

When we finally get to the hospital, my mom is still upset. I can only imagine the guilt she felt. I hug her first because I want her to know we are not angry, it was an accident. Elijah is "asleep" but pops up as soon as he hears my voice. He is still blue-purple and cold but his hives have subsided (for now) and he is breathing nicely. After 3 hours of observation, secondary reactions (move hives, vomiting, etc) we can go home. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

I thanked the nurse & doctor profusely before we left. I didn't get a chance to thank the officers & ambulance staff, but I thank you too for saving my child's life.

Anyway, this story is to explain the extreme anxiety I have about my children. They can DIE from what your child or any adult around them eats. They can die if a friend offers them a piece of their PB&J sandwich. They can STOP BREATHING if you don't wash your hands thoroughly after eating yogurt. They can DIE if you are eating scrambled eggs & it somehow touches my child's food. They can break out in extreme HIVES if you touch them & don't wash your hands.

I try my best to explain their allergies to them. I tell them don't eat any one else's food. Ask people if they washed their hands. Don't share your food with anyone in case they have allergies too. I show them their EpiPen & Benadryl. I haven't trained them on how to use it but that will have to happen soon.

I was very lax before this happened. I would read the stories about other people's children. Some died from fairly innocent exposure. I prayed for their parents and the families. It still didn't hit me though. I thought I was careful enough and I knew a lot of our family & friends thought I was a little overboard in my carefulness. So I tried to be more open about it but guess what, now everyone believes us. Everyone is an advocate for my children now. (thank you)

So I wrote this up & shared it so that you become more AWARE. So you don't shrug someone off when they tell you about their food allergies. I hope you are more mindful about your surroundings, your hand washing and maybe even talk to your child about these things.

I am still trying to figure out school lunches for my picky kids so we send a lot of cereal with Rice Milk or safe Chicken Nuggets. I am sure the teachers think I am a horrible parent for this but it is safe food & they do not have microwaves for me to send rice & meat (their normal dinners).

I panic about where the EpiPen is located at each kid's school. In my 4 year old's school, the nurse's office is pretty far away in case there is an emergency but they assure me they will "get to them in time". I sigh with tears in my eyes because what if you don't? Then what? I am still figuring it all out as they get older.

This is REAL LIFE for us. My children like to be healthy & breathe normally too. So it's my job as their mom to be their biggest cheerleader, biggest advocate, their loudest voice until they are old enough to do it themselves.

Elijah's 1st day of school 😊
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Aidan (7) is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs
Elijah (4.5) is allergic  to dairy, eggs, peanuts & tree nuts
Joshua (2.5)  is allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts & soy

*We also avoid all seafood (fish & shellfish) due to their Dad's severe food allergy*