Monday, November 16, 2015

My baby is more than a blessing...

Oh Joshua... to know him is to love him. His smile, his hugs and his warmth are just a few of his redeeming qualities. He has also given me gray hair, anxiety attacks and lots of tears. Did I tell you he is not even 3 yet! 

I know, so much personality in one little person right?

Anyway, he never ceases to amaze me and show me that God is in control of that little boy's life. 

Rewind to a few weeks ago. He had been having a rough week at daycare and I was just sitting in my car in the daycare parking lot, crying my eyes out, talking to my amazing mother in law. I finish my chat and ask if he is ready to go inside he says "Don't cry mommy, God is here." Thinking I misheard my child, I turn around and I ask him again, WHAT?!?! He says "God is here Mommy". Um my jaw dropped and I hugged that child so tight. I thanked him and HIM. Earlier that morning I asked God, "God I know you are with us but I NEED a sign, forgive me for doubting you Lord but I feel like I am losing this battle." and I went about my day. I know people say this too much but LOOK AT GOD! No seriously! Look at that! Josh is still acting up in daycare but I exhale and know that even in these tumultuous times, God is here.

Then just today. Ant left early since he had to take Nia to school. I was up with the boys getting ready for work & school. With 3 other people, there is always ONE who is having a bad morning. Today was Elijah's turn. I was rushing them to eat, rushing them to get dressed and just when I was about to go CRAZY MOMMY yelling because Elijah does not remember how to put on his socks...Joshua runs over and starts singing J-E-S-U-S, J-E-S-U-S, Jesus, Jesus (a song by the Winans)! I had to stop in my crazy lady tracks and smile and STOP. I took a deep breath and tried my best to help Elijah get dressed. Again, all by himself, he reminds me that God is here. 

Thank you Father God, for the blessing that is my child. 

Joshua: Yahweh is salvation; Jehovah is his help

Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Source of My Biggest Anxiety

I'm a mom. So it's normal to be stressed over certain things in life when it comes to your kids. Whether it be their homework, teachers, friends, clothing, are they getting enough nutrients, etc there is ALWAYS something to worry about. For me it's on another level...

My kids have food allergies. Before you stop reading or roll your eyes at the thought of restricting your child's diet for yet another helicopter mom let me help you out...just imagine this happening to your child, nephew, niece, Godchild, etc...

My 4 year old son is at grandma's house happily playing with his brother. My boys are rough! They love hard, play hard & fight hard. One brother pushed my 4 year old into an iron by mistake. As is customary in Dominican culture, grandma puts egg white on his burn to help it heal.

Shortly thereafter, Elijah turned bright red, spots everywhere and starts to scream, then gets kind of weak & sleepy. SIDEBAR - I am not there, this is what my mom tells me as she calls me to ask if she should give him more Benadryl. I am not worried. Elijah gets weak-ish and vomits when he comes into contact with nuts, tree-nuts & dairy. We know that, I have been there for these kinds of accidental exposures before. We give him Benadryl, give him a few minutes to feel better and he can tell me Mommy I feel better, usually after throwing up.

Well anyway, she says he is not feeling better but didn't throw up either. So I FaceTime her. Elijah is passed out. I call his name, he doesn't respond. Ok, now I am freaking out. It's never happened this way. I am not there to help, so I am freaking out, but trying to keep it together so my mom won't freak out. I ask her to get his EpiPen. She is freaking out. So I tell my 6 year old Aidan to go get the green EpiPen from the book bag & give it to Mama. He complies and quickly gets it. I thank him & smile so he doesn't freak out. I try to walk my mom through injecting him with the EpiPen but in my haste I forget to tell her to remove the blue cap. She can't figure it out, she is panicking, and doesn't know what to do. I tell her to call 911. Everyone including my grandma, my mom, Joshua my 2 year old and Aidan are all freaking out now, crying, praying, screaming.

I hear my mom calling 911 while my grandma holds my child's body in her arms and I call out his name. Still no response, ladies & gentleman, he had a full blown anaphylactic reaction. My child is purple. My baby will not respond to anything.

The police officers arrive first. They are unsure of where to inject the EpiPen. I am still on FaceTime watching them semi-panic, semi-talk themselves through the directions. I am trying to talk to them as well but with all the noise in the background, they can barely hear my instructions.

They are able to administer the EpiPen and I hear my son Elijah cry. The ambulance comes in and stabilizes him. They talk to me on FaceTime and let me know he is breathing well again and his vitals are getting back to normal but he has to go to the local Children's hospital for further observation. By this time, my husband and I are in the car racing down the NJ Turnpike on our way to my mom's house in Philly. This is usually a 2 hour drive, we made it to the hospital in an hour.

When we finally get to the hospital, my mom is still upset. I can only imagine the guilt she felt. I hug her first because I want her to know we are not angry, it was an accident. Elijah is "asleep" but pops up as soon as he hears my voice. He is still blue-purple and cold but his hives have subsided (for now) and he is breathing nicely. After 3 hours of observation, secondary reactions (move hives, vomiting, etc) we can go home. THANK YOU JESUS!!!

I thanked the nurse & doctor profusely before we left. I didn't get a chance to thank the officers & ambulance staff, but I thank you too for saving my child's life.

Anyway, this story is to explain the extreme anxiety I have about my children. They can DIE from what your child or any adult around them eats. They can die if a friend offers them a piece of their PB&J sandwich. They can STOP BREATHING if you don't wash your hands thoroughly after eating yogurt. They can DIE if you are eating scrambled eggs & it somehow touches my child's food. They can break out in extreme HIVES if you touch them & don't wash your hands.

I try my best to explain their allergies to them. I tell them don't eat any one else's food. Ask people if they washed their hands. Don't share your food with anyone in case they have allergies too. I show them their EpiPen & Benadryl. I haven't trained them on how to use it but that will have to happen soon.

I was very lax before this happened. I would read the stories about other people's children. Some died from fairly innocent exposure. I prayed for their parents and the families. It still didn't hit me though. I thought I was careful enough and I knew a lot of our family & friends thought I was a little overboard in my carefulness. So I tried to be more open about it but guess what, now everyone believes us. Everyone is an advocate for my children now. (thank you)

So I wrote this up & shared it so that you become more AWARE. So you don't shrug someone off when they tell you about their food allergies. I hope you are more mindful about your surroundings, your hand washing and maybe even talk to your child about these things.

I am still trying to figure out school lunches for my picky kids so we send a lot of cereal with Rice Milk or safe Chicken Nuggets. I am sure the teachers think I am a horrible parent for this but it is safe food & they do not have microwaves for me to send rice & meat (their normal dinners).

I panic about where the EpiPen is located at each kid's school. In my 4 year old's school, the nurse's office is pretty far away in case there is an emergency but they assure me they will "get to them in time". I sigh with tears in my eyes because what if you don't? Then what? I am still figuring it all out as they get older.

This is REAL LIFE for us. My children like to be healthy & breathe normally too. So it's my job as their mom to be their biggest cheerleader, biggest advocate, their loudest voice until they are old enough to do it themselves.

Elijah's 1st day of school 😊
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aidan (7) is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs
Elijah (4.5) is allergic  to dairy, eggs, peanuts & tree nuts
Joshua (2.5)  is allergic to eggs, peanuts, tree nuts & soy

*We also avoid all seafood (fish & shellfish) due to their Dad's severe food allergy*

Monday, July 6, 2015

Miss a Day, Miss a lot!

That title line comes from Wendy Williams (LOVE HER)! 

So obviously I have missed MANY days so let's have a catch up session shall we?

Nia - She is 11 going into the 6th grade? That cannot be right! I remember this adorable little 3 year old girl, what happened? Time really does fly! She really is becoming a young lady in front of our eyes and I don't think, no I KNOW, we aren't ready!

Aidan - He is going to 2nd grade!!! How amazing is that? He had the BEST teacher in 1st grade and I pray that he gets a teacher that is just as great or better in the 2nd grade. He is reading so well! I cannot believe my ears! This teacher really helped meet him at his level and understood how to motivate him. This summer we have homework M - F, 2 writings a week & reading each night...YIKES but I get it and he needs it so he won't go backwards in his education.

Elijah - My little buddy is 4 and going to PreK this year. Where does the time go? I feel like I JUST birthed this child. He is still my whiney, smart mouthed (wonder where he gets that from) loving child who likes to cuddle on his own terms and I cannot believe he is learning his letters, numbers, shapes & colors! He loves nature, which means he likes to dig in dirt & trees to look at what's inside.

Joshua - He is 2.5 and living his life like it's golden. His favorite phrases are "I'm Sowwy", "It was acciden" and " I'mma good boy!" As you can imagine, he is my busy body and keeps us all on our toes. He also gives the BEST hugs and says "I Wub You" a million times a day to everyone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Wow~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Dear God, 
Thank you for trusting me with these 4 lives. Help me to guide them in the way they should go each day. Remove anything in me that will hinder their God given purpose and remove anything around them that will take them from living in Your path all the days of their lives. Amen

Reading this again just made me think....

I never thought I was going to be a mom, let alone have 4 children. I used to get sad & resentful because I wanted to travel the world & change the world like some of my friends post on FB. Instead, here I am raising kids like everyone else. 

I can always just take them with us to travel the world, no it won't be easy travelling with 4 kids BUT they will never forget all the amazing experiences. Plus I realized I AM changing the world, by raising these children, I can change the world 4 times over and the legacy we leave with them will have an everlasting effect on this world. 

I can't wait!





Wednesday, May 27, 2015

2014 Goals revisited in May 2015

So here is a reminder of my 2014 goals with a 2015 update...yes I am aware it's almost June. What's your point?

1) Be more creative in the kitchen, i.e. cook more allergy free meals for my babies! Now that J has multiple food allergies too, breakfast, lunch & dinner are getting really boring, for me at least. I want my kids to experience cookies & cakes & pancakes! My boys are pretty picky eaters but hopefully, as they try new things, it will get easier!
2015 update - Nothing here really. I bought a hand mixer which was supposed to aid in the baking front but alas there is still no baking. Maybe this will be the year I will venture out & try it!

2) Get more organized. Seriously, with 4 kids in a 3 bedroom apartment, we need to get rid of A LOT! Toys, clothes, and just STUFF clutter up a small home so quickly. This is especially true for my paper situation. It is getting out of hand & I NEED a good place to store lots of this stuff. Granted, I need to SHRED lots of it first, but one bag at a time, literally.

2015 update - Are we completely organized? NOPE but we have gotten rid of A LOT of stuff like clothing, toys, and randomness! Paper is still my arch nemesis and old mail is definitely winning the battle. Oh well, I have learned to give myself some grace and you should too! 

3a) Stop looking like a frumpy "mom". Please don't be offended but most moms know exactly what I mean. Putting on lip gloss & perfume can go a long way but who has time for that when you are running out the door with 3 busy kids on one hip & a "hurry up we are late" hubby on the other! I WANT to buy lipstick. I WANT to learn how to apply makeup and just spend more than 1 minute on my hair. Do I have time for that everyday, nope, but when I want to go out with my girlfriends or my husband or even just look nice for a family gathering, I need to KNOW HOW.

2015 update - I learned how to put on some basic makeup (thank you YOUTUBE) and I feel so much better about myself. I don't get to wear it daily but I am OK with that. I also buy lots of drug store lipsticks which I love! $1.99 for Wet n'Wild and they have very cute colors. This girl doesn't need MAC to be happy

3b) Invest in Myself! I had to separate this into 2 only because I need new clothes. I have been pregnant 3 times in the last 5 years. That means 27 months of maternity wear PLUS the countless months of wearing larger clothing to accommodate your changing body. Now that I am finally thinner, I need to invest in myself.

2015 update - So I was in my best friend's destination wedding in July 2014 and lost a ton of weight. I do not own a scale so I can't tell you how much but I went down to a 4!!! HELLO, do you hear me? 3 kids later and I almost had a flat stomach again! So I bought clothes for Jamaica & LOVED every second of it. Unfortunately, I gained a bunch back. Am I a 4? Nope but I still feel pretty good at my current weight except that now ALL my summer clothes are a 4 and I must get back to that size in order to button my shorts. I am currently muffin top city! All of that rambling to say - I LOVE BOXING! I did it last year combined with eating smaller portions so I plan to do the same now. I started going to the 5:30 am class and while I need a 2nd cup of coffee around 2:30 pm, I really am a much happier person when I work out!

4) Spend real time with God. If you know me well, or at all really, you know that I am a firm believer. Without someone praying for me all these years, without God's covering over my life, I would not have the life I have. I thank God for the bad & the good. I want to WAKE UP EARLIER or carve out a special time each day to read the Bible or do my own Bible study with my kids. These are such important things in my life and I need to act like. 

2015 update - Did I wake up any earlier? Not exactly. I was/still am a pretty faithful listener to our 6:30 am prayer call so does that count? Do I have Bible Study with the kids? No :-(  I definitely struggle with time management and organizing my thoughts so obviously I am using this blog to keep me accountable. This year I will finish creating my prayer journal and start a Bible Study for myself and for the kids. The good news? I got my own physical Bible, thanks to my mother in law gifting me one that was given to my hubby when he was young. I love it more than she can ever imagine! I love technology but there is something about having it in my actual hands that is different and really brings home the scripture. This reminds me, I need to order a Bible for the kids. Especially Aidan who can now READ! That's a whole different post altogether!


Two in one day, GREAT! Obviously I had a lot to say AND was not so busy at work. 

Hoping my next post will at least be this year! lol 

It's been way too long - randomness!

WHOA!

It's been over a year since I posted! Whoops! You know life gets busy. Having a full time career, 3 boys, a husband and a home to take care of just takes over your life. So something must go by the way side as they, and well this blog was it...

Hmm why did I come back here? We switched offices at work and now I sit directly in front of a giant window, on the 11th floor. Can we talk about the view? Oh and the fact that I watch planes fly by all day. Can I also tell you I LOVE watching clouds & planes go by? It gives me the most amazing sense of peace, ever since I was a child. Up here, everything is so undisturbed.

Here's my view....

It may not seem much to you but this is a busy CITY and to get this unobstructed view is spectacular!

I see clouds moving, sun shine rays, beautiful birds (and some strange bugs lol), and my favorite planes! My office sits in the middle of two of the busiest airports in the country, one private, one public. So we (yes I have gotten my coworkers in on the obsession too) watch planes & have even been called Air Traffic Control by our boss. LOL


I try my best not to daydream but it's hard! Look at this stuff!


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Goals 2014


So I am a little late on my goals for 2014, better late than never, I always say! I always "say" I am going to WRITE THEM DOWN, but I never do! Funny enough, I actually got the reminder from my step daughter. Leave it to a 10 year old to remind you about the basics!

So...without further ado...
1) Be more creative in the kitchen, i.e. cook more allergy free meals for my babies! Now that J has multiple food allergies too, breakfast, lunch & dinner are getting really boring, for me at least. I want my kids to experience cookies & cakes & pancakes! My boys are pretty picky eaters but hopefully, as they try new things, it will get easier!

2) Get more organized. Seriously, with 4 kids in a 3 bedroom apartment, we need to get rid of A LOT! Toys, clothes, and just STUFF clutter up a small home so quickly. This is especially true for my paper situation. It is getting out of hand & I NEED a good place to store lots of this stuff. Granted, I need to SHRED lots of it first, but one bag at a time, literally.

3a) Stop looking like a frumpy "mom". Please don't be offended but most moms know exactly what I mean. Putting on lip gloss & perfume can go a long way but who has time for that when you are running out the door with 3 busy kids on one hip & a "hurry up we are late" hubby on the other! I WANT to buy lipstick. I WANT to learn how to apply makeup and just spend more than 1 minute on my hair. Do I have time for that everyday, nope, but when I want to go out with my girlfriends or my husband or even just look nice for a family gathering, I need to KNOW HOW.

3b) Invest in Myself! I had to separate this into 2 only because I need new clothes. I have been pregnant 3 times in the last 5 years. That means 27 months of maternity PLUS the countless months of wearing larger clothing to accommodate your changing body. Now that I am finally thinner, I need to invest in myself.

4) Spend real time with God. If you know me well, or at all really, you know that I am a firm believer. Without someone praying for me all these years, without God's covering over my life, I would not have the life I have. I thank God for the bad & the good. I want to WAKE UP EARLIER or carve out a special time each day to read the Bible or do my own Bible study with my kids. These are such important things in my life and I need to act like.

So those are my top 4 goals for 2014.


One day at a time, I have to remember that.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Happy New Year & randomness :-)

It's been a few months, WOW!

Well, first of all, Happy New Year!! Glad to come back to my own little slice of peace. I missed my blog! Life & work have just taken over.

Today I am stressing over my A. He is such a sweet boy but having Sensory Processing Disorder is like Jekyll & Hyde. Jekyll comes out at school, the worst timing right! He has come such a long way. In September he barely new his letters, now he knows 90% of his letters AND their sounds! That is huge in my book. So we are working on spelling his Sight Words and recognizing those teen numbers. Who knew Kindy would be so intense! So we try to take it easy with him, much to his teacher's shagrin (sp?) I am sure. We don't let him get away with anything, but we try to make learning FUN and avoid worksheets as often as possible. He gets enough worksheets for his daily homework, trust me (do not get me started)!

So I am finding ways to help him with everything, using Pinterest, the most overwhelming website ever! Plus, I swear it makes me feel like the MOST INADEQUATE mom ever!

I was looking for the funny e-card about that but I have to get back to work...nice checking in!